The Myth of the Relaxed Woman

I read this passage from Nicola Jane Hobbs recently,

 “Growing up, I never knew a relaxed woman”.

Wow, I thought of my mom. She loved to read books and would enjoy her book each night before bed. Was she relaxed? Well she pretty much crashed at 8:00 pm each night after a couple of pages of that book. I did not realize that prior to that book reading, she was a wonder woman, working as a nurse, cleaning the house, driving us around, volunteering, walking all around town, playing tennis and golf. She and my dad enjoyed their nights out together. But there was no time in meditation or time sitting on the grass listening to the crickets. 

Lots of my friends told me that they could relate to this woman, this busy, superhuman ball of energy. Of course, they can, as can I.  We all did the same thing. When we learned to meditate, it was from a course, or reading a book and we had to practice and create time in our day.

 I reflect on the meme that someone gave me once of a woman sitting cross-legged In perfect meditation mode, eyes closed. Above her is the phrase. 

“Cmon inner peace, I don’t have all day”. YUP!

 I realize how I still struggle with this today. I have a job, run a small business, have an active social life filled with friends and family, and a house to maintain. I take my time each morning to revel in the peace and quiet of the day. But then I am off and running, taking far too little time to stop, breathe and look around. 

So, my intention for this week is to slow down. My aim is to take a beat, a breath, a pause, in between the movement from place to place, from thought to thought. I have been grateful for my connection to Reiki, as it creates the space for me to ground and stay peaceful. That is why I am so glad offer it to  a group or an individual. 

But I would like this to be more than just an afterthought and to make it how I am in the world. Who I am intrinsically. I was not able to impart this calm wisdom to my daughters, but I can show them that you can change and evolve no matter your age or experience. 

My mom ended up suffering with dementia in the final years of her life. It was a painful process to observe, she often seemed so lost. But we realized that part of her was freed. She was no longer burdened by the rules she and society had set forth. My mom had to focus on one thing. That which was right in front of her.  Not what just occurred and not what may happen in an hour. 

Now, I will work to bust the myth of the relaxed woman and make it a reality. Seek to find the "relaxed woman" in me.  It doesn't have to mean to be inactive, but rather to be free from tension and be at peace. 

I continue to try and learn from my mother. All the lessons that she had to offer that I wasn’t ready or able to accept. So, for the next few days, I will try and keep this thought in my mind. As I slow down, take a breath and wait a beat. And prepare to find that ease. 

 What do you do to you keep your pace of life manageable?